Several weeks ago I shared with you the importance of keeping God in our thoughts moment by moment. Reflecting on that directive made me ponder further the impossibility of doing just that. How can I possibly think about God moment by moment if my life is so busy? I’ve been shown in the past that when I get caught up in the swirl, whether on a cruise or in a crisis, in fun to be had or fires to be put out, thoughts of the Divine get pushed aside for the joy or pain of the moment.  

As Sid’s caregiver for the past 5 weeks I have not been able to think of God, per se, in each moment. Instead, when I slow up, gratefulness and thankfulness fill me. I see the small miracles, the perfect timings, the daily provision. Those thoughts, however, may not be able to overcome the challenge, the tiredness of logistics planning of every detail, the work. Yet when I can get through those, very soon the feelings of God’s in this with me do fill my heart. Being grateful and thankful take the edge off of the hardness of the reality of what needs to be done. So even though I’m not consciously thinking of Him, He is there moment by moment with me making me able to do what needs to be done, and to do so cheerfully.  

I absolutely know at those times that there is no way I could do what I do and maintain any amount of equilibrium, let alone, lightheartedness, unless somewhere in my neshama/soul I felt His Presence.  I know I am not in this alone. I know that when what needs to fall into place does so just as it should that He’s got this. I also know that when there are too many things needing to fall into place at too fast a pace that He’s got this. He’s faithful to me even when I’m not showing my love for Him, He is showing His Love for both Sid and me in this situation. When my brain gets that it helps my emotional side feel grateful and thankful. So it is when I am thanking Him that I have succeeded in keeping Him in my thoughts front and center.  

This sense of equilibrium comes and goes.  When I’m overwhelmed our Creator sends His helpers to remind me. I’ve cut out all outside distractions other than a few such as my Bible study group on Mondays. Those regular times with faith community, a diverse one which is especially enriching, always uplift my spirits. The Daily Davar is with me and reinforces my days with a focus on God rather than on the challenges. My Ruach community though virtual is a rock to my ability to stay centered and uplifted. The outpouring of love from local friends and family are messengers of His Love to Sid and me keeping both of us able to feel His Love. When I am weak, my faith support community is strong, and it is our Father through Yeshua who is ministering to me in those weak moments.  

The “tool” that always works for me is being grateful and thankful. As soon as I let myself enter that space emotionally, it becomes a spiritual shot in the arm, the best medicine always for what ails me. For it is truly an ailment when we get exhausted and overwhelmed which happens to all of us at times even when not caregiving. That tool as well as only focusing on what is next, the immediate challenge, and pushing off anything that can be thought about later is a survival skill that is indispensable, not only in caregiving but in surviving a world of anxiety inducing situations most of which are out of our control so we really do not need to try to problem solve them in our heads.  

When I became a believer in Yeshua “coincidentally” two days before 9/11/2001, that fateful day in September when the planes hit the Twin Towers and the world’s evil increased exponentially, I had a thought which has stayed with me. I had not been planning to believe in our Messiah Yeshua on that Sunday two days earlier, but rather, my faith transformation happened miraculously. Given the heightened level of evil that entered into this realm on that infamous day of tragedy I have pondered whether perhaps many people around the world in that timeframe around 9/11/2001 also came to know Yeshua, for our Creator knew a new era was starting for the world, one that would need more people of faith. In these decades since then of seemingly growing darkness and in these especially challenging times, faith in God is even more indispensable for positive living. Perhaps this boosted number of people of faith have been called into His Service to balance the darkness and to minister His Love so sorely needed for our personal and societal well beings.  

Those who support others with faith and love are in His Service. They bolster those in need who, when they are stronger, become the supporters. It is a beautiful circle of love powered by our Creator who brought us into His Service to serve others, and so, serve Him. I am not exhausted when I care for Sid for I feel Yeshua’s empowering love not only from my faith communities, family, and friends, but also because I feel His Love. I become reminded to prioritize Him in my thoughts by gratefulness and thankfulness which are the natural result of His ministering love being brought to me through Scripture study, communal support, and the knowledge that He is who He said He is, our promised Messiah.   

I encourage all of us to strengthen our gratefulness muscles, to exercise them like our physical ones for when we don’t do so they weaken just as can our faith.  Heartfelt gratitude and acknowledgment of His divine blessings are critical for a life of well-being, love, and shalom. Gratefully we have His Hands on earth through those who know Him to bolster us and each other in these times, for God provides, always.  

Shabbat shalom.  

Diane