I have been grateful over the last several years to have developed a wonderful working relationship with Hal Slifer, host of Chagigah on WERS every Sunday morning. This is a show dedicated to three hours of playing Jewish American, Israeli, and Yiddish music, Jewish humor, and sharing fascinating backstories about many of the songs played on the program. Since WERS is also a downloadable app and can be heard nationwide the show has an average listening Jewish audience of 5000 each week so its reach is significant.

With that as background, Sid and I have been blessed to schmooze with Hal over meals, go to events with other Chagigah listeners, and even be guest DJs on the show which we will be doing again this summer. Hal plays the Messianic Jewish music I request and has aired multiple spots with me that have played on Chagigah over the years. He even advertised our Ark dedication on the show last December as an upcoming event at a local shul.

So you would think I would not have reacted as I did recently . . .

Hal mentioned on Chagigah a couple weeks ago that if you would like for him to come to your synagogue or Jewish organization to do a presentation on Jewish music to let him know, so I did. Radio silence (pun intended) for a few days, and he normally gets right back to me. Then he sent me an email saying he had received so many responses and that this was a new business venture for him so he would have to get back to me. He did and asked if Ruach had a projection and sound system to which I replied, “Sure do”. More radio silence as I figured he was just using delay tactics to not hurt my feelings.

What did I do? I went down the Bunny Trail of Darkness. (If you don’t know the reference it’s from an earlier Shabbat Encouragement, but the name speaks for itself).

My thoughts: “Oh, so it’s because we are Messianic Jewish. He’s been so open and non-judgmental, but he must think he’ll take heat from his predominantly mainstream Jewish listeners if he were to come to Ruach Israel. After all, he’s probably been fielding complaints already.”  I was so disappointed.

This past Sunday he again made the announcement of his availability to speak at Jewish organizations. My first thought was to go into a long explanation of my understanding why he couldn’t come to Ruach but I’m not a fan of emails trying to express information that has an emotional tone involved. So I just sent a simple two liner asking if he’d had any more thoughts about coming to Ruach.

He responded almost immediately and went into great detail about his plans for this new initiative and even asked my opinion on certain parts of how to structure it! He really is needing to figure this out and his visits to synagogues so far were to test the waters for interest. The going forward plan for the ten of us who have expressed interest is quite elaborate and exciting! It will take time for it to be ready for prime time.

In the same email he asked what dates would be good for Sid and I to co-host Chagigah as guest DJs again. Those spots are live on air with personal discussion of Jewish topics so clearly there is great trust in our relationship.

The negative drama had been all in my head. I had assumed the worst, that somehow his coming to Ruach for this presentation was just too far.  I fully admit that would be a reasonable assumption in some circumstances with some people, but I should not have assumed that of him based on our relationship and his actions over these past several years.

My jumping to the wrong conclusion sparked such a revelation of how often we do this – assume someone is talking about us judging by a glance, assume our looks are somehow substandard and that’s why we’re not accepted or didn’t get the job. So many examples of situations where we have an insecurity and allow the evil one to take that vulnerability, that hole in our self confidence, and run right through it to inculcate those negative emotions – not acceptable, unlovable, inadequate, not good enough, not smart enough – all the not-good-enough feelings that we all as humans experience at times.

There is no doubt that being Messianic Jewish is a bit of a cross to bear, literally, and especially vis-à-vis our wider Jewish community. That history, however, is becoming the past as younger Jewish men and women are not as influenced by labels, but rather, are interested in the merits of diverse opinions (as is Hal even though he is close to my age). My hope is that we of the older generation can grow in this area and not assume the worst when thinking what other Jewish people think of Messianic Judaism, especially when there is no reasonable basis for our assumption other than the shadows of the past sometimes still haunting us.

As we learn to live in the present and remain hopeful for the future, not only will we be more likely not to misstep in our faith-based interactions, but we also will become more able to see ourselves as our Creator sees us – in His image and glorious.

Shabbat shalom.

Diane