Last week we pondered the less obvious ways the process of healing may take place. We saw extreme examples of loving one’s enemy in the story of the Lubetzkys and the superintendent, and Cantor Weisser and the klansman. We were moved by the super whose only reason for saving this Jewish family during the Holocaust was that he had been treated kindly by them despite his mistreatment of them. We learned of a klansman who was so moved by a cantor’s kindness despite being mistreated that the klansman overcame his prejudice.  I also shared my own experience about a wounding I didn’t even know needed healing.

In all of those stories another dimension we didn’t consider was the role of forgiveness. Is it necessary in order to heal? Is repentance part of the process?

A few days earlier I had been studying the subject of forgiveness from a Jewish point of view as I read Maimonides’ thoughts on this subject.  I read other ancient rabbis’ views and remembered our own rabbis’ teachings which have been phenomenal. I listened to and discussed this topic with people of other faiths as well. Alongside these discussions came the thoughts about the importance of loving our enemies and the recognition of God’s divine ability to love his creations through all of it as so seemingly impossible for us mere mortals to understand or to do.

As these thoughts – kindness, love, forgiveness, repentance – collided in my brain, they formed a proposition that we are being led to love despite lack of the perpetrator’s remorse. After all, we’ve been given the perfect (literally) example of this through Yeshua’s sacrifice on the cross. On the other hand, can we mere mortals accomplish this ability to love without the wrongdoer’s repentance and our forgiveness or are these necessary steps in the process?

It seems that sincere apologies by the offender, change of action, and repentance are typically part of the ability for the wounded person to be able to heal. Yet the Lubetzkys and the cantor in the two stories shared last week seemed to be able to completely sacrificially show kindness which reflected God’s love even if not theirs at that time and without the perpetrators evidencing repentance, by the super, seemingly ever, and by the klansman, not initially. Though able to be kind, were the victims carrying internal woundings of which they weren’t aware?  If so, would true repentance, teshuvah, by their oppressors have healed such wounds? Maybe. Or maybe every case is different but the common ground is that God is in each and every scenario.

We have all read accounts of victims’ family members who can forgive the murderer. Recently I heard the gripping story of an actual friendship that developed between the murderer of a young woman and the father of the victim. After years of correspondence from prison with the father, and his natural inability to overcome rage and hatred toward the killer, ultimately the father testified for the murderer’s early release from prison. Such scenarios are not uncommon.

So many viewpoints, so many different situations. Yet in each case, one way or the other, with or without acts of repentance, or forgiveness, one truth emerges – God is able to meet each of us where we are to help us learn to love again. He takes our situations, our stories, our pain and suffering, our brokenness, and heals the fracture in our broken hearts to lead us back to the goal – to love unconditionally.

For some the process requires repentance, for others more information, time to heal, observance of change in the perpetrator. Only God through giving us Yeshua and He who died for us can love perfectly. We have been given that model to strive toward as we each do our best to love each other despite our brothers’ and sisters’ failings, and despite our own.

Perhaps had the superintendent and klansman been healed of their inner woundings prior to their knowing the Jewish persons we’ve discussed, their lives until then would have been ones of love rather than hate. Mr. Lubetzky and Cantor Weisser did not require repentance in order to show kindness and share God’s divine love.  Perhaps they, as mere mortals, would have needed that step for they, themselves, to love their oppressors in an even deeper sense and be healed of their woundings. Yet God was able to meet them where they were and have them be instrumental in the healing of the walks of their oppressors. Then, as that happened, in the circle of divine love (God to us and us to God), the victims and oppressors too, over time, moved farther along on their abilities to love each other.

In any event God meets us where we are with the ultimate goal to love our neighbors, including our enemies, however we can get there. It may be easy, it may take years. It may be without hurdles, it may seem impossible. It may require our healing, it may require action by the wrongdoer. It may be natural, it may need to be intentional. No matter how, all are moving closer to loving others as He loves us.

As we mere mortals seek to live in the Way of Yeshua, I’m grateful for the countless examples and opportunities we are given to keep trying to love each other, enemy or not. I’m amazed at the uncountable ways God has given us to do this, through varied religious teachings as well as by the myriad of personalities and events in our lives that occur just by living. He clearly wants no one to slip through the cracks on this critically important life lesson toward spiritual growth!

Seeking His guidance to learn to love, ourselves and others, as He loves us – now that’s a healing thought for these times as we enter Shabbat, a day of reverence, rest and reflection!

Shabbat shalom.

Diane