In June I shared with you my journey regarding participating in Our Daily Bread’s docuseries “Unshakable Moxie: Women of Resilient Faith”. It was quite the transformation from my complete trepidation when asked almost a year ago, my absolute hesitancy and desire not to do so, to accepting the role. Not only did I feel intimidated, but I also am not an extrovert. Quite the opposite. So the idea of being in a show focused on my story as one of the thirty minute segments was not only beyond my comfort zone, it was terrifying.

I prayed a lot about this. “God, I know I am here to serve. I can see how my being willing to speak to a viewing audience of primarily young Christian women about my experience as a Jewish woman who came to know Yeshua could be of value. Yes, I can see how it takes moxie/courage to be a Messianic Jew. I can see it could be faith affirming. Yet I kept coming back to why me, God? I really feel uncomfortable being filmed for a mini-series. I prefer one-on-one conversations?”

Despite my natural inclinations, through my prayers and conversations with others, especially with my rabbis and the film’s producer, I was led to accept the request. For one thing, I wouldn’t have to think about it for months and perhaps by then I would feel better about doing it.

Fast forward to the time of the shoot this past June. By then just before the filming, God had literally changed my heart (as I shared with you in May). Other than seeing God’s Hand in it, I was actually looking forward to being a part of such a blessed venture.

Then the real spiritual warfare began.

The amount of work involved by the producer and crew for such an undertaking is unbelievable. Planning on their end is months out in the making. Literally, if you have not seen the innerworkings of what goes into making a film, and I’m sure I just got a glimpse, you cannot appreciate how last minute changes can be completely derailing.

I had chosen three locations: Ruach Israel, Popham Beach in Maine, and a particularly scenic lookout point as places that were important to my story.  For clearly spiritual attack reasons, none of those areas were now available for the shoot. Rather, all of the filming took place at my home in Maine, the launching spot right near there where Sid and I put in our kayaks, and the cove right in front of our house that leads to the ocean. The original plans did not even involve ocean kayaking which turned out to be a highlight of the episode! Although fitting a director/producer, audio, video, and lighting crew of 12, and their equipment into my tiny kitchen was hilarious, we did it.

Not only did we do it, but I just received a rough cut of the episode. We didn’t do it. God did. These people I worked with are persons of great faith. Spending days with them was one of the best parts of doing the film for we were so on the same page in faith. We prayed and gave it all to Him, stumbling block after stumbling block, and daily were in awe of the more than closed doors He opened. He did more than open windows. He created a show that far surpassed all of our expectations. Its result is all of Him. We once again were reminded that once we let go, make room for God, the result is always beyond anything we could have possibly imagined.

Yet it took my being willing to do something that was very hard for me to do. I didn’t have the courage, the moxie. God’s grace pulled me through and provided what was needed. I only was able to do it by remembering I am here to serve Him, and this was service to advance His kingdom. Conversation leads to understanding, and the process and show are all about conversation!

This week I had a choice between planning to participate in two activities that conflict – one was playing for Veterans Day as part of a music group and that I was really looking forward to doing, or entering a drawing for Sid and I to see a Jewish Film Festival film unfortunately on that same date with the host of Chagigah radio Hal Slifer, a person I’ve been getting to know well through interactions with him as host of this Jewish radio program. Over time I’ve so appreciated his willingness to share Messianic Jewish music on his show and the time we’ve spent together sharing our religious experiences.

I recognized the conflict with the Veterans Day concert so normally would not have entered a contest to win tickets for a date on which I already have other plans. Yet rather than do what I had planned, I decided to have God guide my steps: if we won the tickets, we would go with Hal to the film festival. If not, we’d play for the Veterans Day observance. I pondered with our Creator:  “If You think I should interface with our Jewish community by going to the Jewish Film Festival, I will. If this would serve You, I will do it.” Within moments I received an email from Hal that we had won the tickets. I interpreted that as God’s will, that He does want me to so serve.

Making this choice this way reflects a certain mindset. Although I’m far from perfect in effectuating this goal, and I don’t always ask for God’s help with such decisions, each day I try to think, “How can I serve You”? This viewpoint pushed me to participate in the Our Daily Bread docuseries despite my misgivings.

Sometimes we have opportunities to serve in ways that reach beyond our immediate relationships as do the experiences described above. Yet this way of thinking is one that applies to almost every activity or decision we are about to undertake. It’s a way of looking at this blessed life we have been given in a different way.

If we have spouses or have children or parents or siblings or are in relationship with friends or acquaintances or other loved ones (hopefully all of us!), or those we know of who are in need, we can think about how we can be of service. We can reach out to let them know they’re loved, they’re in our thoughts and hearts. They matter. It may feel awkward or scary, be outside our comfort zones to do so. Yet when we do this, it not only shows them we care, it sometimes prompts us to care. When we show our hearts in this way, this love, we serve Him, too, as His Hands on earth sharing that divine love He has of all of us.

We have these opportunities to do something beyond our comfort zones, in the service of our amazing Abba, and through Yeshua so intimately coaxing us on, that brings His Love to others through our so small efforts in the real sense even if they feel overwhelming, or at the least, challenging. By being part of “Unshakable Moxie”, the outpouring of His Love on those involved in its production was palpable, the loving interactions, the miracles. I can only imagine the drawing of hearts to Him that may be felt by the viewers who watch the various episodes evidencing His Presence in our lives.

It is HaShem through Yeshua who gives us the courage to step forward in faith, to overcome our fears. Yeshua was both human and divine. He is our bridge to that spiritual realm that surrounds us. Even though He is divine, His earthly existence then and now with each of us gives us the strength, the courage, the moxie to serve Him in ways that are outside of our comfort zones even when we think we can’t.

As we feel Yeshua carrying us intimately through the challenge, over the barriers that block our ability to show how much we love others, we lose the self consciousness, we lose the fear, for we know we can, just like the little engine that could. We become as children trusting in Him, moving us closer to the trust we once had as children, now on our life journeys striving to regain that ability to trust and to be able to trust in Him completely. He knows we can. He knows we can. He knows we can.

Shabbat shalom.

Diane

P.S. An additional encouragement for these days:

https://youtu.be/ZzaoYGUb-EU?si=ZgdTTpuceFnJWZJg