to feel stressed!

Yes, it’s unavoidable. No matter how much we pray, study Scripture, talk with God, we are only human, and in those alone times when we think about all that there is to do, we can feel overwhelmed.

I awoke this morning  after having spent just one day in our home in Maine. We’ve been away for over ten days celebrating Thanksgiving with family in MA but came back home for a medical appointment. Today we are packing again for VT to perform in a community play there (three performances at that!). I know. Why do I do these things?

The answer is simple. I totally enjoy life and all the  possibilities. Sid teases me that my motto should be, “Why live one life when you can live two?” Good thought, and a new meaning for “both/and”.

In any event, living fully, and especially given this time of year’s extra activities and responsibilities, our feelings of stress are heightened, even if the stressors are pleasant ones.

When I awoke this morning, instead of thanking God for life, itself, I felt stressed thinking of the packing we need to do to drive five hours to VT, all that I have to do before we leave, not to mention unwrapped presents and gifts still to be bought before the holidays! Interestingly, there was a time that these thoughts wouldn’t have made me feel on edge. My legal secretary (the word used back then when I was much younger) once said to me, “You could come home from work, find a giant pile of dog poop in your entrance hall, and think, ‘Wow, good thing she didn’t do it on the Oriental rug.”

That was me before COVID which I think raised my and all of society’s stress baselines generally, or perhaps when I was younger I was just chilled out most of the time. In any event, when our baseline point for feeling calm is already set a little higher it actually helps us to be more conscious of our emotional reactions to stressors for the emotions occur more frequently. This awareness helps us not to take for granted the work we are to do to be kind to others. When added to that the busy-ness of the season and its effect on our feelings of stress, we are made even more aware of this challenge.

No matter our personal issues that make us feel on edge, it is never right to be unloving to others. I rarely say “never” but I feel it is the right word for this observation. Having endured unkind treatment for 28 years (from my former spouse) I intimately know how uncontrolled anger, even if just words, is devastating to all around its ugliness. Uncontrollable anger’s outworking kills love. Now knowing the words of Yeshua on this subject, I understand even more deeply the spiritual darkness of anger.

The power of unkindness does not have to be exhibited in the extreme of angry actions or words. The subtle look or snippy response can be just as hurtful and undeserved. Projecting our attitude of worry onto another is equally unloving, a small yet crushing action that is unloving. Being too hurried to listen is unkind, unloving.

“Tis the season to be reminded of our part in bringing love to this world, more challenging at certain times, and harder to do consistently with family. ‘Tis the season to think before we speak, to not project our anxiety onto others, to put ourselves in the shoes of the other, to be less hurried, to prioritize what another is feeling, not what we’re feeling, to work on our hearts, to expand our capacity to love, to accept the challenge as an opportunity to grow spiritually, to mindfully converse from a place of love, to invite Him into every interaction, to feel His Mercy and divine grace for our willingness to selflessly try, to more fully appreciate the depth of His Love for us that He can love us so perfectly.

Shabbat shalom.

Diane