Our sense of well being comes from being able to feel loved. Ideally such a reality starts when we are babies and continues throughout our lives. Most babies start out being loved unconditionally since they’re so darn cute! (Chava Leah, case in point!) Actually, as babies we are born very self centered and as children need to be taught how to take into account the needs of others. The emotionally most healthy adults are those who have been blessed with loving parents who through their sacrificial nurturing have been models for their child of how to love others. When raised feeling loved, we are better able not only to learn how to meaningfully love others, but also, how to love ourselves. We become able to see ourselves though loving eyes, how God sees us.

Parents most able to give such unconditional love are those who feel loved by God who set the highest bar by loving us so much that He gave us His Son Yeshua, who in turn, loved us so much that He sacrificed His life for us.  Parents who know God can feel His love of them, that they are precious in His eyes. Overwhelmed by His love, they try to prioritize that relationship. They make time for worship, prayer, Scripture study, which helps them live out this model.  They try to live moral lives following His teachings. They sacrifice their personal needs for those of their children, as Yeshua did for us.

If you are here today, you’ve had a parent, and may be or have been one, yourself, so you know in the real world it’s not so simple to do and be all of the above! Parents are not perfect, some are not in deep relationship with God, or even so, life is busy, kids are challenging. Being human we love imperfectly. Yet it’s important to emulate God’s model, to at least strive for the ideal, to be motivated to do so, for the rewards are great.

Love requires prioritization and sacrifice. Yeshua put us first. He suffered and sacrificed His life for us. Beyond the parent/child relationship, how often do we put ourselves first rather than those we love? How many self deceptions we create to justify our actions:  I’m so busy, maybe another time would be better. I’d give her a ride but it’s so out of my way. I would’ve called but the day got away from me.  I don’t have time to check in on my loved one today but I will tomorrow.  He’s probably fine and doesn’t need me. I don’t have time for this. I really don’t want to go there. She doesn’t need to have that. This wouldn’t fit him anyway. I really need this more than they do. My plans are more important than theirs. Kind of an endless list. . .

Last week we pondered the both/and of God’s relationship with us both as God Almighty as well as intimately with us through Yeshua.  Often when we are drawn to Him especially during times of suffering we sense Yeshua’s deep understanding and ability to feel our pain as He too had to so deeply suffer for us, to give His Life for us. His love of us is boundless. It not only provides a model to strive toward of how to sacrificially and unconditionally love, but such a divine love actually sustains and nurtures us, especially when we are suffering or feeling unlovable. Being loved in that way, so profoundly deeply, reminds us of the power of love. It is life giving, especially in times of pain and suffering. Experiencing that divine strength when we are weak motivates us to try harder to love better for the power of such sacrificial love is transformative.

God as our Abba embraces us with a glorious love that is awe inspiring. This reality lifts us up, the perfect balance to His manifestation through Yeshua who knew suffering and crucifixion and walks with us in a palpable love as co-sufferer.  In life we often experience this both/and – times of overwhelming love as when feeling nature’s beauty, synchronistic moments, answered prayer, blessings, and times of intense pain and suffering looking for hope and deeper spiritual understanding.  Sometimes we relate more to God in heaven through praise and worship, sometimes to Yeshua’s dark times of suffering. It is these both/and manifestations that God seeks us in relationship to meet us, be with us, where we are, in all the highs and lows, and everything in between.

I once had a fortune cookie with a message I’ve remembered: “He loves you all he can but that’s all he can love you.”  It helped me adjust my expectations of others when I’ve felt unloved. Perhaps the challenge to us is to remember that although we have limitations in our abilities to love others, we can still strive to overcome them and be more mindful of the choices we have actually been given.  The “all he can love you” is a challenge to expand that capacity. We can choose to love others as He loves us and to put ourselves in their shoes as we determine our priorities.

We can love ourselves and each other the best we can given all the factors. We are who we are, but also have the choice to be more, to work on ourselves. By strengthening our relationship with God, in following His example, we can pray more meaningfully, study Scripture with more understanding, interact more lovingly with others, forgive ourselves and others more easily. Through repairing ourselves, we gradually repair the world.

When we prioritize our relationship with God and work to follow Yeshua’s model we love ourselves and others better. Prioritization requires sacrifice by us to pray more, study Scripture more, drive long distances regularly to services or visits to friends and family, serve others more often, put others’ needs above our own. Yet that is how we grow in Him. We become living lives of love. The power of His divine love in our relationship with Him helps us to overcome our self centeredness, life’s distractions, and our flawed humanity. We, in turn then, are better able to love others, to prioritize and sacrifice for them, and that is what it means to love another.

It’s as a growing hug – with God at the center we become able first to love ourselves, then each other, and other to other, with God embracing all of us in, through, and on top of that creating the biggest, best love hug ever!

Shabbat shalom.

Diane