So many insights seem to occur in the shower for many of us. Today was no exception.

As I immersed in the flowing water from above I was reminded of our ability to be reborn each morning, anew, a fresh start to try again to be more in His likeness. As I had this thought, His teachings, and admonitions, flowed as did the water.

Just the night before I had suffered from a very painful medical situation which was totally the result of choices I had made that I know aggravate my condition. I was reminded of the result of overeating and resolved to try harder to eat small meals despite how delicious is my sister-in-law’s cooking! What a powerful reminder to be a better caregiver to this body I have been blessed to receive with which to serve Him.

Earlier this morning I had felt frustrated when in a text conversation with someone who responded without reading my complete text message. Also, since in Vermont with family I would not be able to participate in my weekly Bible study group, and so, it would miss my viewpoint as the only Messianic Jewish person. (The group is composed of people of various religions). In processing my feelings regarding both of these situations, I realized that pride was underlying my emotions of frustration and disappointment, for in either example what I have to say is really not that important.

This same morning I had rushed to judgment that my sweet little niece may have hidden something I was looking for (which she does do, but in this case didn’t) when in reality I had just misplaced the item. So many flaws were addressed in those brief moments under the running water – gluttony, pride, false judgment. I didn’t even think about forgiveness of the person who dismissed my text discussion until guided to do so later in those special moments with Him.

For those of you who were raised with faith in Yeshua, such self awareness of our countless daily sins may seem natural. For me, having been raised Jewish, or at least in my Jewish upbringing if not universal to my clan, this self-awareness of our sinful nature is a deep work in progress.

I was raised with the belief that to be a good person one is to do good deeds, be kind and loving, be generous, help others, make this place a better world than we found it. If you live this way you are a mensch, a good person. On Yom Kippur we acknowledged our sins but personally, at least in my moment-to-moment daily consciousness, the living out of being a good person didn’t feel the same way as it feels now. Perhaps Jewish people who are more religiously observant would disagree, but being a mensch for me, my Jewish family, friends, and acquaintances was not focused on how much we messed up or sinned daily, but rather, its emphasis was on what we could do to help others and our world.

The shower experience reminded me of the difference in my mindset before I knew Yeshua and now. It reminded me of that deep transformation – understanding that we sin knowingly and unknowingly.  As we internalize that truth we grow closer to Him, for we work on our numerous shortcomings and try to overcome our failings. At the same time, we are still to work at making a positive difference in this world as demonstrated by our actions. These two ways of seeking His Presence are perhaps another example of the both/and I so often discuss.

Somehow, miraculously, He still loves us despite our imperfections which my being able to see them actually motivates rather than discourages me. Being able to see myself through His perspective, as a loving father teaches his child, makes me feel so loved, so personally in relationship with Him. How amazing that we can be loved in this way, that our hearts have been opened to Him so intimately, that He cares for each of us so much.

Rather than being discouraged I am even more motivated to work harder on these sinful tendencies that can creep into our beings without notice. I am even more aware that these flaws are part of our being human and that our lifetime journey is to become more like Him, in His image. They draw us closer in relationship to Him. I am all the more grateful for my eyes being opened to these truths and now look forward each day to another opportunity to shower away the unclean, to start fresh and try again.

I hope you are encouraged to seek Him anew each morning too!

Shabbat shalom

Diane